There have been times in my life when thoughts about my future were very bleak. I imagined that I would always struggle to breathe and would, therefore, continue to have a declining physical health. I imagined that I would never be able to rectify my relationship with food, and would continue to binge eat and make unhealthy choices, destroying my body with uncontrolled diabetes. I imagined that depression and anxiety would be the locks and chain that held me tight on a path of self-destructive behaviors.
How could I possibly have any substantial length of time left in this world? And would I really want the time that remained, with the physical and mental conditions that were such a large part of me? How could I look forward to the life that was ahead of me, so lacking in any positive aspects?
Somehow, over time, I came to realize that I have led a great deal of “life” already. I have had 47 years of experience living. The ups and downs have provided me with the lessons I need to move forward to the next chapters of my life. How many chapters are there to be written? Well, that remains to be seen. I have the ability to positively affect the number of chapters, simply by making positive changes in my life.
I don’t want to live with breathing issues. I, therefore, need to work on my lungs. I need them to do their best and a little bit more, all the time. They have years and years of work ahead of them.
I don’t want to suffer the consequences of uncontrolled diabetes. I need to pay attention to not only what I eat, but how my food choices affect my blood sugar levels. I now leave the blood glucose monitor on the kitchen counter 24/7, right beside the beloved coffee maker. I can’t “forget” to check my blood every day. My blood glucose levels will benefit greatly from 30 active minutes of exercise, per day. Interestingly enough, so will my lungs.
I don’t want depression and anxiety to get their hands on me again. They are life altering conditions with dire consequences when left unsupervised. I have learned the art of being mindful. It is something I know, I need to practice constantly. I have learned the benefits of personal development. I have just finished the book The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy. Now, I have started to research the topic of “Fear of Failure”, to learn what I can do to help myself be free of this phobia. It is an actual phobia; “atychiphobia” is when we allow fear to stop us doing the things that can move us forward to achieve our goals.
The change to my nutrition lifestyle is already helping better manage my diabetes. The exercise I have added to my life is going to help my lungs get stronger and has already removed the intense fear of losing my breath. This overall lifestyle adjustment has made a huge impact on my mental state. Suddenly, I’ve gone from dreading my future, to looking forward to it. I’m planning how I can make the years ahead the best chapters of my life. This book is nowhere near finished. Part II has just begun!
Stay tuned! Til then…..do the next thing.